How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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