I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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