There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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