oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
