she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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