i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
