did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
