i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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