This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
