Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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