I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
