Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
