gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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