I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
