Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
