ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
