She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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