beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
