can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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