Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I was the one passing out cake at the bars

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(613): View more from Ontario

No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am mentally ready for anal.

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