i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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