if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
