Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
