I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The struggles of a small town man whore
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
