Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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