We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
