i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
