i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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