Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
