At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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