girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
