Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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