Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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