Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
