im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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