your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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