Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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