All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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