Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
