Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize