I could have mohawked her pubes.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You ruined the universe
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
