yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
