So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize