OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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