are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
