my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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