It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
