I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
