All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
