yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
