I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
