Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
