period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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