? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
