when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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