tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
birth control should be required to get into college
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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