just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
