My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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