u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
