What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize