I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
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