Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
