CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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