walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
