i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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