wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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