Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
