he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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